OMG. I hate Lockhart, but I love Snape...and this fic made me feel dirty...in a good way. I think.
Slip of the Tongue, by Seeker. You'll need a RestrictedSection.org account to read it.
This quote, above all. And I blame Amanuensis for rec'ing it in the first place.
It was lovely. Incredible. Wonderful.
"Darling!"
Oh, God, it was Lockhart.